Bullet Your Day

• Cellphone alarm clock vibrated way too early. Slapped it until it shut up.
• Woke up because my face was vibrating. How did the cellphone get under my pillow? Slapped it until it shut up.
  
• Derek woke me up 15 minutes later. I don't slap him.
  
• Had a debate with myself in the shower: to shave, or not to shave? I planned on wearing leg exposing work out clothes so I had to think about it. If I shaved, I'd probably blind people with my sickly whiteness. If I didn't shave, the hair would be thick enough to HIDE the whiteness.... but then I might be confused for a dude... God bless my husband for putting up with me.
  
• Managed not to throw up breakfast today. Definite improvement from yesterday.
  
• Ran sprints up a hill during my lunch break. How long do you have to run sprints for them to be useful? I really don't know.
  
• Had a very strange training session at work. Some dude from Brooklyn commented on what natural remedies could interact negatively with Viagra. Seriously - this was a training session for my job. We talked about VIAGRA.
  
• Also had a very strange yoga session. Way too many people wearing way too many scents in a room that was much hotter than normal. Made me feel giddy and angry at the same time. I alternated between giggling with the dude next to me because neither of us could figure out what the hell "put your feet together and spread your legs" meant and staring at the instructor with angry intensity as I refused to do 'half planks' on my knees - seriously - I can do a freaking push up and I am not going to do a half assed half plank.
• And yeah, I know this is mean but if your CAREER is to be a group FITNESS INSTRUCTOR then you should damn well be FIT!! It's your job! You should not be some pot-bellied bleach blond goomba who can't even touch her damn toes!!! And if you are one of these slack assed idiot individuals, then you certainly shouldn't get pissy because your students dont neeeeed the alternate posses that you neeeeed.
• I also might still be slightly giddy-angry. apologies.